About Diane
I pay attention to what changes while you're talking
People usually know the part that happened afterward.
What they said.
What they wish they'd said.
The decision they made.
The conversation they replayed later.
I'm often listening a little earlier.
The point where your wording changed.
Where you started explaining more.
Where someone else's response became more important than what you had been trying to say.
Where something that had been clear became harder to reach.
Those small changes often tell us more than the ending does.
That's where I tend to get curious.
I've been doing this work for a long time.
I've spent more than 25 years working with people through anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, grief, major life changes, work stress, parenting, difficult decisions, habits, and periods when life simply stopped working the way it had before.
For 19 of those years, I worked in a mental-health emergency room.
That meant sitting with people when circumstances were complicated, information was incomplete, and there wasn't much value in pretending there was a simple answer.
It taught me to listen carefully.
To distinguish what is urgent from what is uncomfortable.
To notice what someone can still reach when other things have become harder.
And to start with what is actually happening rather than what I expected to find.
That way of paying attention stayed with me.
I won't assume the first explanation is the whole explanation.
Sometimes the thing that looks like the problem is the problem.
Sometimes it isn't.
A habit may be costing you something and also doing something for you.
An argument may appear to be about what was said when the more useful information is what happened three exchanges earlier.
A decision may look like indecision until we notice that it only becomes difficult around one particular person.
Low energy may change what is reasonable to ask of yourself right now.
So I ask questions.
Not endlessly.
And not because every experience needs a deeper meaning.
I ask until we can see enough of what is happening to know what would actually be useful.
Counseling and coaching overlap more than people expect.
I work as both a counselor and a coach.
In either setting, I'm interested in how you're functioning, what keeps repeating, what you're responding to, and what you want to be different.
The distinction matters, but I don't expect you to make it by yourself before we meet.
Counseling may be more appropriate when anxiety, depression, grief, or another difficulty is significantly affecting your ability to function day to day.
Coaching often fits when more capacity is available, but there's a decision, relationship, habit, or pattern you want to work with differently.
We can determine what fits after I understand what's actually happening.
Relationship work is part of this practice, too.
Sometimes I work with two people together.
Sometimes I work with one person on a relationship the other person isn't participating in.
Either way, I'm interested in the exchange rather than deciding who is right.
What happens between the two of you?
What changes first?
What does each person begin responding to?
Where does the original conversation get lost?
And what part of that sequence belongs to you?
A relationship can change when one person begins participating in it differently.
You won't be asked to perform insight.
You don't need the right terminology.
You don't need to arrive with a clear explanation of your pattern.
And you don't need to turn an ordinary difficulty into something profound before it's worth talking about.
Bring the argument you keep having.
The decision you can't settle.
The morning when getting started has become harder.
The thing you keep doing even though you've already decided not to.
The situation where you know what you think until someone else enters the room.
We'll start with what actually happened.
A little about me
I'm Diane E. McDowell.
I'm a counselor, coach, author, and speaker, and the founder of Powerful Questions Coaching & Counseling.
My work has been shaped by more than 25 years of clinical experience, including 19 years in a mental-health emergency room, as well as years spent working with individuals and relationships outside of crisis settings.
I also write and speak about the patterns I have observed across that work through DianeMcDowell.com.
But here, the focus is simpler.
What's happening in your life, and what would be useful to look at together?
You don't need to decide before we meet.
The complimentary 20-minute Meet & Greet is a chance for you to tell me what's been happening and ask questions about working together.
I'll ask some questions too.
We'll determine whether I may be a good fit, whether counseling or coaching is appropriate, and what the next step would be if we decide to continue.